Fiesta Bowl

It is official, I had almost the best day of my life on 1/05/2009. I finally fulfilled my life long dream of actually seeing the Ohio State Buckeyes in person. This was my Christmas present to myself. I went with my friend Robin from work who loves football as much as I do. So she really wanted to come and experience a good bowl game, even though she is an avid M*ch*g*n fan. She did wear a grey shirt just so she wouldn't get jumped though, and beleive it or not we saw two other Wolverine fans in our section. We sat in the West inzone on the 23rd row, not bad seats if I may say so myself!! And thanks so tostitos everyone got a free bag of their new hint of jalepeno scoops chips and a thing of salsa....after downing our hot dogs and drinks, those were gone in about 5 min. So good!! I was pretty much dilerious with happiness most of the time....ok not during the 3rd quarter and the last 16 seconds of the game...and at the end, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I got to watch the dotting of the "I" in script Ohio, which was amazing, and chear my team on as they rushed the field, and Tressel, sweaterboy and all, and "Beanie" Wells, hearing the band playing "Across the Field" and pretty much everything. I am also glad we didn't get blown out like the past two national championship games, just mad that we totally blew it with 16 seconds left, I mean we had it!!

But a few funny stories, everyone around us kept referring to me and Robin as sisters because they thought we looked exactly alike which we thought was hilarious until we looked at our picture and realized they were right. Then there was a mix of Buckeye and Longhorn fans in around us, and we made friends with the Buckeyes fans around us. They were from all over Ohio, Dayton, Toledo, Akron, and some that lived in Phoenix. It was nice to feel the comradory and know I'm not alone in my love of the Buckeyes, dispite the hard time I tend to get from friends here in Phoenix and back at BYU. Texas fans are hilarious. They came doecked out in chaps, cowboy hats, the works. These two all fancy fancy guys sitting a few seats down from us made a huge fuss during the 3rd quarter, only to find out that one of the guys had taken off his boot because they were too uncomfortable, and someone stole one!! The rest of the game he kept yelling at us buckeye fans and looking in our direction and had everyone around us looking for his lost boot (Oh don't worry, he found it 7 rows back at the end of the game, his friennd decided it would be funny to play a joke on him). Note to any Texas fan, do not remove your boots in public. Then they also brought a live longhorn...he was HUGE!! He had BeVmo across his nose and just stood their...like a cow pretty much. That is until "The Best Darn Band in the Land" performed at half time and set off fireworkes when they played the 1812 Overture. Oh did that poor cow recieve more excitement then he ever has in his life!! He threw a fit and had all the trainers going bezurk just to keep him from rushing off the field. I tried to get some pictures since he was so close but people were always in the way. Just trust me, it made us Buckeye fans glad that we didn't bring nuts to all our games, besides Brutus of course!!

I did end up sitting next to a Texas fan and his wife and he took it upon himself to try to upset the Buckeye fans around him, especially me. But after my previous experience at the 2006 national championship I held my tongue (I know you'd be so proud of me Jenny) and let him scream in my ear....which was still ringing that night. You'd think he would have lost his voice or something, but nope, vocal cords of steel!!

I would give a play by play and summerize the game, but those of you who care already watched it or the highlights, but yes, we lost 21-24 and they scored with 16 seconds left in game, after we missed a field goal and two 2 point conversions...which would have won the game, but alas it is over. It was worth it, and I'd do it again in a heart beat. Go Buckeyes!! And don't you worry, I'll find my way to the Horseshoe someday soon. Now THAT is a promise!!

Witness after the trial of your faith

I hate doing this...this blog thing. I feel like it is too impersonal, and I'd rather just call everyone up and talk to them, or go visit, but we all know how good I am at doing that. But I'm writing today because there are some lessons I've learned, especially these past few days, and I feel as if I have to write them down. I still have no clue if people actually read this thing or not, but here are a few words of wisdom as I pour out my soul.

One of the main reasons I haven't written is because I've been talking to a guy. When I went to Disneyland in August we stayed with a fun family. They were serving, and everything you'd hope a good family who exemplified their Father would be. And of course they had a son. I watched him and how he interacted with others, in particular his family. But I later found out he was in the middle of a divorce, and that he also had severe health problems. Even though he was obnoxious at times because he was loud and knew that he was right, I left wondering if I'd ever see him again, but knowing that it wasn't appropriate to pursue anything at that time. He'd offered to take Katherine and me surfing anytime we came down again and so about a month later I found him on Facebook and sent him a message asking him if he was serious. He said that of course he was and that we could come down anytime. I planned a few trips, but I still didn't feel good about going down just yet....so I waited. And we talked. I could talk to him and ask him anything I wanted. He isn't afraid of the truth and is very blunt, when it comes to telling others what he thinks. He became my best friend. All this time I kept justifying that is was ok because the divorce was already filed before we met and that the end date was in sight, and we planned our lives accordingly. And of course, life never works out the way we plan. The finalization of the divorce was supposed to happen this week. Of course complications arose and now it looks like the divorce will take another year before it is finalized. And we knew that we needed to end it right then and there. We had been wrong.

But I want to testify to you and to myself that through obeying the Lord, truly trusting your entire life in Him, brings blessings unmeasurable. And blessings incomprehensible. Yes, even in this life. But it doesn't take away the fact that he was still married. We can be deceived, and justify and think that WE are the exception, we are stronger then others, we can walk that line. And Satan really does just whittle away and work at you very slowly until you can't see that you are doing something wrong. Even if in our mind we are truly truly convinced that we are not doing anything wrong. He was married. It wasn't final. And that was that. We both thought it was ok because there was an end in sight, but we never could have foreseen what was in the future. We cannot live our lives dependent upon what might happen in the future. We cannot justify. The worst part is I know we cannot talk anymore. And because of my choices I am miserable because I cannot be there for my friend, because I thought it was ok. I've learned we can do anything we set our minds too. Even if we are so sick that at times we cannot function. We can still live our lives to the fullest. We figure out how. And we can be Happy while doing it. Life is a gift, this gospel is the greatest gift. And it is important that we share that gift. Do what you want to do today. Don't wait for tomorrow. Act now. Don't be afraid to act because of others judgements. Happiness does not come from what others think of you, but from what you think of yourself, but most importantly, it comes from the realization that our Heavenly Father loves us. We can find true happiness from serving others, and not focusing on our own trials.

I do not know what lies ahead. I do not know what the Lord has in store for me. But I know that I have a loving family who will support me and guide me, and I have a Heavenly Father who knows me better then anyone else, and knows what we can and can't handle, because trials not only make us stronger, but they bring us closer to Him. And I know that true happiness comes from within, and not from what others might think of me. If we try to look to them for approval we will never experience true happiness. I am a Divine Daughter of Deity. His literal offspring. I am powerful beyond measure, power comes from knowledge, a knowledge of Him and the truths that we can learn. Knowledge is the most priceless gift, never stop learning. And never never think we are the exception. Christ did not allow himself to be tempted. Even in such a vulnerable state as when he had fasted for 40 days he told Satan "to get thee hence". Do not entertain him. Do not invite him over for dinner. Do not even poke fun at him and laugh at him from a distance. Do not plan your life according to what might happen. Live it to the fullest. To my readers, never give up, never give in. God gives us commandments to make us free. And I see that now, I was not free, and I am still not free, yet. But I know through Heavenly Father and His Atonement I can be healed, my heart will mend and life will go on, and I will be happy again. Soon.

Was ist los?!?

And once again here I bring my fingers to the key board to update my dear friends and family and the happenings in my whirlwind that I call life. Ok, so I was busy dating this one guy that I met at FHE who moved down here to go to PA School at Midwestern. We broke up 9 weeks after our first date, and it was really hard, but he was just so busy with school and it actually ended up being a huge blessing. Because of Paul I am now motivated again to do what I want and am applying again to Physician Assistant School. Paul and I are still friends and went hiking over Memorial Day with some friends and I'm also pretty good friends with his roommates, so we'll see...stay tuned for further developments.

Last weekend I took off work becasue I'm getting stir crazy again now that I've been here in Phoenix for 6 months, so I went to California and played on the beach and went to Disneyland with my old roommate Katherine Willis and all her friends from the mission and it was just what the doctor ordred. The best experience there was not only getting fried on the beach and trashed by the waves (they always win, trust me) but when I hadn't been feeling very good all day and we went on the Callifornia Screamin three times in a row. As we pulled up to the gate to get off I knew I wasn't going to make it and looked for the nearest trashcan. Katherine asked me if I was ok and just told her plainly that I was going to throw up. Just then they announced that they were having a "technical difficulty" and would be a few more seconds before they could release us. So with the garbage can ten feet away I threw up as the headlock came up, which knocked the vomit into my hair, down my back and onto my crotch. Yes, I threw up on myself in the happiest place on earth and was forced to buy the most expensive tinkerbell nightmare outfit ever just so I could enjoy the rest of the day. How many people can say that? Yeah, I rock.

Then tonight I decided to get a group of friends together, there were about 14 of us in all, and we went country dancing to this place I found online. When we showed up we quickly learned that it was a lesbian bar. And yes of course since we drove over 30 min to get there we decided to stay and while having quiet a fun time trying to remember country moves that I haven't done in 3 years....we got kicked out because of "reverse discrimination". They didn't want us taking away the only place they felt they could be themselves. Because we're trend setters apparently and if we start crashing lesbian country dance bars everyone will start doing it. So we found a "Mariachi Club" down the street and were the only people in the place as we attempted to dance to the crazy music. I love us.

Yep, that is pretty much what is going down in the hood lately, and that my friends is how you live the dream. More exciting stories to follow, don't you worry!

Yes, I know, I haven't written for almost two months...but trust me, it isn't for lack of caring, but for lack of a life I guess you could say. And not that my life is boring, it just is that nothing life changing has happened, or exciting. But apparently people told me that they've read my blog and need updates...so here we go again!

First of all, I am beginning to love my job working as an MA for a pediatrics office. It is a little slow now that the flu and roto virus have calmed down, but I'm learning a lot. Especially now that my doctor isn't so crazy busy she will explain things and help me learn. Dr. Prentice is trying to convince me to do Med School because she thinks I'll be so great, but I can't bare the thought of that much more schooling. After being out for a year I'm beginning to wonder how I'll even be able to get through PA school. But there is this 2 month old set of triplets that I love and want to take home with me. And another 4 month old, they seriously are so cute. I have baby fever pretty bad, lets just put it that way.

My roommate Jenny is now dating a really great guy name Mitch, so I don't see her a ton, but it is such a blessing to have the girls down stairs. We'll take turns making dinner for eachother and I'll pretty much hang out at their place so I don't feel so lonely. I did also finaly convince my friend Allen to try Ethiopian food, it first took a while to find a restuarant that actually looked authentic, but it was!! I had almost forgotten how much I did like some of the food. Much if it I could actually do without, but some of it was pretty tasty. I just wish they had sprees, that is what I miss the most. Some of my friends are trying to convince me to write a fictional story based off of my experience there and sort of make it a way to get to know the culture, and now that I'm almost done with my certification classes, I've been brainstorming some ideas. I doubt I'd ever get it published, but it would be fun to have. Sounds like a good christmas present....hum...maybe...maybe. :)

I am finally feeling as if Phoenix is home and that this isn't some prolonged vacation. Mom and the kids will visit in abotu two weeks to bring me some furniture and the rest of my things so I can actually settle down here and have everything. They are still in the process of moving in with my Grandma Shepherd in Washington DC, but dad has one job hopefully that looks very promising. I've made quite a few friends. They also recently formed a new singles ward that I'm in the boundaries of and I love it. It is nice to show up and be just Nicki and start fresh. It is a lot smaller than the last ward and so a lot easier to meet people. I'm very excited and thouraghly enjoying it so far.

As far as boys go I've been making friends, and I did get asked to go on a date by a guy I met once to a reception of someone I didn't know, but it was nice and short, and very interesting. Then some of us girls, and two priesthood holders, play basketball once a week and one of the guys after seeing me make same crazy shot on accident asked me for my number and wants to take me out. But he is from the Dominican Republic, and I still have it ingrained in my head that any foreinger who falls for you that quickly is only looking to get US citizenship...I've lived in too many different countries I guess. But I'll still give him a chance:) I know I'm so gracious right!? :)

I'm still working to save for the 2010 World Cup. Feb 2009 is getting closer! That is when I'll buy the tickets. I also had the most wonderful news. My good friend Jason from high school joined the army and is in officer training and there are a few members of the church in his group. And when he found out they were Members of the church he told them he took the discussions and went to church in high school and his good friend was a mormon and he's been going to church with them ever since when they aren't in the field and he is even reading the Book of Mormon again!! That is such a blessing. He is someone who I always knew would look into the church again. But I'll keep you posted!! Besides that life is grand. I'm still living the Dream and waiting patiently for my turn for PA school and to figure out what I want to do with my life!!

Land of the rising sun

So I wonder if anyone actually ever reads this or if I'm jsut writing to the world wide web, but so be it. I'm really bad at this obviously. First of all if anyoen does read this and since my mom doesn't, her 50th Birthday is April 23rd and we're trying to compile a book of letters to her from people of their favorite memroy or a way in which she has touched their lives. So if you could write one asap and then email it to me at nicolemshepherd@gmail.com I'd love you forever.

Ok, so I moved to Pheonix because things were getting interesting in Kansas. I left behind my boyfriend Dave who did get baptised and is growing so much in the church and just a powerhouse. He's amazing and I'm glad we have the opportunity to stay friends. It is incrediable to watch him grow in the gospel and I can honestly bare you testimony that having him get baptized was one of the greatest joys in my life thus far. Sharing the gospel is so important and it will forever change people's lives.

I'm living in a furnitureless apartment currnetly with my old college roommate Jenny Burris and we love it. It is like we live on a resort or soemthing with pools and palm trees and green grass, a fitness center, waterfalls (fake of course) yeah...my own room, own bath, and even walk-in closet. Even dispite the fact that everything I own is in their and it is not even half-way filled. :) But greatest of all being here is that fact that I've had the opportunity to see people who mean more to me than anything. I was able to go to dinner with Sarah, the nurse I went to Ethiopia with and catch up because she drove a few hours to come see me, and various other friends, or course Jenny and her family who let me live in their house for three weeks while waiting for our apartment to become available.

I'm working in a pediatrics office, currently in the front office until I finish my certification and then I'll work in the back as the medical assistant for Dr. Shepherd (yes I know so cool and she even spells it the right way!!). I'm learning a lot more about the medical field already and about how challenging but rewarding pediatrics can be...except for the raging angrey parents of course. But I plan on applying to school again in a year, I'm talking with some PA schools down here and continuing to take classes online. No, no boys yet, I'm still a little scared of them after the whole Dave experience, but there are two Preisthood quarums in our ward and over 360 young single adults, so my options are out there. Don't worry Grandma I'm not trying to be your only un-married Granddaughter! :) But life it hard, I'm still adjusting, I still work at Applebees here once a week and sometimes I pick up a shift here and there when I have the time. But most of all I love my Savior!! And He has already taught me so much in the short month i've been here.

Older and wiser?

ok so once again I've had requests to keep everyone posted. So I'm working about 20 hours a week at the doctors and still full time at Applebees. I've been spending a lot of time with one of the cooks named Dave and he and I have gone on a few dates and he became interested in the gospel and started coming to church with me and talking to the missionaries for about 2 weeks and reading the Book of Mormon. Then he and I started dating and he was great and quite Applebees and is now working at a nicer restaurant and learning to actually become a chief and looking into going to culunary school in Chicago. Well, things kept getting worse at Applebees, I turned 24 and that was fun and they kept cutting down my hours at the doctors office and turning 24 gave me a wake up call and I knew I needed to move out on my own because of my indepandant nature. So I prayed about it and decided to move to Pheonix for the next six months until August when I'll hopefully be moving to Philly to start my masters in Biological Sciences program to then go on to PA school from there. But I still have not heard anything and they told me they have not even started looking at applications until next week so I'm trying not to freak out and thinking of other options of what other schooling I need to do if I don't get in and what I truly want to do with my life. All I know now is that I'll be happier living with my best friend in Pheonix in our own apartment for a few months while I regroup, I mean because I can waitress anywhere. And i feel good about that and just waiting to hear back from various schools and it not I get the feeling that the answer will come. So I'm trying like mad to work on my classes and take 8 tests and everything else in the next month so I can submit my grades. I leave for Utah on the 25th of February to visit and take a test and see family, then after probably 3 or 4 days I'm driving Lucy down to Pheonix for a little bit of time to be around mormon guys and just have fun. There you have it.

Update

Once again a nice quick update. Things are very very busy right now as I'm working two full time jobs as a medical assistant for a family practice and still closing the restaurant. But my sister Jessica just got hired at Applebees to be a hostess and I love having her there!! I can actually see someone in my family. My daily schedule consists of being at work by 8am, coming home for lunch to get things ready for the rest of the day, leaving the doctors office around 4:30 for applebees, closing, coming home between midnight and 1am and then getting up the next day all over again. fun fun fun...but I'm grateful for the opportunities I've been given and for all I'm learning.

I did take a trip to Philly in December and Sarah came with me to keep me company and I'm SO grateful she was there or else I would not have made it. I drove straight through and pulled up for my interview at 9am at PCOM, changed my clothes in the car and went straight in after driving 20 hours straight to get there. Then we stayed in the fancy fancy downtown Marriott in a $250 a night room, but Nate hooked us up and gave us a family discount. But I've never felt so out of place as I had to tip the bell hop and the valet....never again. It was a very enlightening trip and I loved PCOM and it is now my number one choise in schools. I love their emphasis and research possibilities. I decided after talking to them that I want to take a year to get my masters in biological sciences to give me the opportunity to do some research and learn better research methods since I'd like to do some malaria research after Ethiopia. Then I'll apply to their PA school program. so that is the latest!